Four more Years of SELF-RIGHTEOUS CRAP!!

Should have posted this on 2 November – but it’s never to late to call a fucking moron on BEING A FUCKING MORON, right? Now we’re going to see how many rights ol’ Gorgeous George Jr. can supplant from the American people – yes, all of them – the people you’re supposed to be serving – WHETHER THEY VOTED FOR YOU OR NOT, ASSHOLE!!! If you manage to take out Roe v Wade, and some of those pesky Constitutional Amendments (especially that damned First one, eh?), you should change your name to James (look it up, Genius Boy – at least it’s spelled out for you already).

Why don’t you and your rabid, self-righteous, fundamentalist supporters just do us a favour and DIE already – you’re already dead on the inside, so find a second for hara-kiri, and PISS OFF to your mythical (just like any other god) control-freak (Commandments? How about Guidelines?!?) in the sky!!

Or – find an island you can make into a bona-fide theocracy, the way you want, and when you’re all nice and cozy, the world can use it for nuclear (NOO-klee-ahr, not NYOO-kyoo-lahr) target practice – before you do the same to them (starting w/ Iraq) when you don’t get what you want, like good little over-grown 2 year-olds.

Thank you – and Heil Bush!! Heil Bush!! Heil Bush!!

AESTHETICS – Part Duh!!!

Kids – just because you can show skin, doesn’t mean ya should – it’s boring, leaves nothing to the imagination, and is aesthetically unpleasant – unless you have a model’s, or a Playmate’s, body. Yes – I am an asshole – it is an unreasonable standard – so what?!? I’m not saying you can’t be overwieght even slightly – I’m not exactly wasting away myself at 250 pounds. My primary objection is that most people can’t pull off that exposed midriff look well – especially if you barely qualify as being a teenager. ‘Tis a pity your parents obviously don’t have the time to instill some modesty in you. Or you’re just being your fractious selves and not listening to them – you can do better than that.

And as for you geniuses w/ the crotches of your pants down around the knees?? WTF is the deal, really – [denisleary]PULL UP YOUR PANTS!![/denisleary] I don’t need to see the band of your Calvins at any time, least of all in public. To paraphrase Quentin Tarantino in Pulp Fiction – You look like dorks! Give it up, already.

I Have a RIGHT to do this

This one’s even worse than “I’m just trying to be myself” – I can at least sympathise with the intent behind that statement, even if I’d rather it weren’t spelled out.

My response, and I’m sure others would echo it, is “Does that mean that you HAVE to do it, IDIOT?”

Does that mean, for instance, that you have to walk through the crosswalk as slowly as you possibly can? Unless you’re using some form of unpowered assistance (walker, seeing eye dog, etc), physically unable to move quickly, or you’re over 70 years old, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS IN GEAR!!!!

Talking on your cell phone in a restaurant, theatre, etc. – Show some consideration, will ya? Why do you think there are more and more places that have no cell phone signs? Because of JACKASSES like YOU.

Driving while – TALKING on your phone, doing your lipstick, etc. – If there were a law against this sort of stupidity, would it stop you? I somehow doubt it. We just love to rationalise by saying “The police have more important things to do” – You mean like scraping up the remains of the people you T-Boned in the intersection at 100km/h while you were on that MOST IMPORTANT PHONE CALL?

Grow a BRAIN!

Being Yourself – Give it UP!!!

I love hearing people say “Well, I’m just trying to be myself!” – You’d be better off trying to FUCK yourself – same basic result.

Why on earth do you need to make an effort to do this? Or “find yourself”? Like Buckaroo Banzai said, “No matter where you go, there you are.” You can’t get away from being yourself, and every effort to move towards being yourself will be equally futile. This is not an original idea, or even an original rephrasing of an idea. Read the Tao Te Ching.

What really amuses me is people having body piercings, tattoos, hair colourings in order to do this. Do you really need to mutilate your body or radically alter your appearance? Or are you just trying to be unconventional or “alternative”?

I might even get a tattoo myself, one day. I somehow doubt I’ll feel more like myself for having done so.

the shoeless one – Thanks – Too True :)

The shoeless one posted in his reply:

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Tell me about it. I love Christmas to death, but after hearing Mariah Carey singing (translation: screaming) “All I want for Christmas is you”, all I wanna do is to bury myself alive so I wouldn’t have to listen to her shit again. She may no longer be popular where you are, but here in HK people still consider her “talened” and of course, a “very tasty number”.

Yeah so, merry fucking Christmas to you.

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Well – Merry frickin Xmas right back at you!

I can’t say I’ve ever been subjected to that particular version of “All I Want for Xmas….”, but I can only imagine – and I actually like SOME of her older stuff. But the new stuff – [shrug] meh! [/shrug] And why the hell can’t people sing a song at least a little straighter – you don’t need to WARBLE through every note, do ya?? You can only take “jazzing up” a song so far, before it becomes absurdly unintelligible, and just WRONG, aesthetically – BOO!! HISS!!!

I’m not sure just how popular Mariah is in Canada overall – not Shania Twain huge, to be sure. I do agree that she’s quite tasty, though – lots of sweet curves, in all the right places. But I doubt I would want to do much more than admire her from afar, far, far away – I don’t want to deal with anyone’s bloody “entourage”, thank you.

Drivers

LEARN TO DRIVE, PEOPLE!!

I’m sure many people will make the following observations about drivers in their own cities, except the last two, perhaps.

PICK A LANE! – Don’t let your car drift back and forth so that those of us behind you have to stress out trying to figure out in which lane you’re going to be an asshole.

CORPSE SPEED, MR. SULU!! – In other words, use the pedal on the RIGHT!! I don’t give a shit if it’s Sunday, pull off to the side if you can’t, or don’t want to, get where you’re going quickly.

Learn to turn, MORON!! Even if you have a low-clearance car (Rice Boy Special, BMW, Ferrari, etc), turn faster than 1 freakin’ mile per hour into driveways, parking lots etc. I can only hope you do a slug-speed turn about 6 feet in front of a full-size Humvee – the sound of a disintegrating chassis would be music to my ears – not to mention the beautiful sight of the Coroner’s van.

FAMILY LICENSE???? What the FUCK?!!? I’m sure anyone reading this is asking the same question of me. This is something I have heard of recently here in Vancouver. One person in a family passes (pays to pass?) their driver’s license test, and then lends it to other family members to use as a “Family License”. Horrifying thought, considering peoples’ driving skills here, even with driving lessons. Now they’re driving without training, or insurance? Aaaaaaaaaggghhhh!!! Where’s my TANK?!? Get me AWAY from these people – or at least let us summarily execute them on such a claim, as a threat to the safety of the general public.

You’re in CANADA – SPEAK ENGLISH for your DRIVER’S LICESNSE TEST, FUCKHEAD!!! – Yes, you guessed it, people are going in to take their driver’s license tests with a bloody interpreter. This in itself is not the problem. The problem lies in the fact that those taking the tests are looking to their interpreters for the answers. In my dreams, this would be an urban legend, but I doubt it is. This, along with “buying” licenses, has been documented (Cite your source, you say? – HA! That would be, well, probably impossible – but I know it’s TRUE, DAMMIT!!). Bloody HELL!!

AESTHETICS – Part One

STEP AWAY FROM THAT SPOILER, ASSHOLE!

How can anyone think that a spoiler that rises a foot over your car’s trunk (or boot,etc.) can look good?

Go to the RICE BOY site, and see the other hideous mods people inflict on perfectly good cars. 3 inches over the deck is plenty. Enough w/ the black lights and the clear taillights, too. And how many thousands of watts do you need to hear that crappy dance music (?? in a CAR – go to a fucking club!!) or rap music? Before you think this is a racist rant – a Rice Boy can be white too, dimwits!

Thankfully, not too many of you do this to my favourite cars (I’m not giving you the brand name).

Aesthetics are important to me, so there’ll be more hate spewing forth on various visual – and auditory – travesties in the future.

BAH! HUMBUG!! and SHUT IT OFF, ALREADY!!

Enough with the GOD! DAMNED!! CHRISTMAS!!! MUSIC!!!! – It’s NOVEMBER, ya know?Maybe, after December 11, with 2 weeks to go, this MIGHT be a good idea – to remind the slackers to do their commercial duty. Really, though – do we need to hear this in a Couche Tard (convenience store chain in Quebec) – at ANY time? PLEASE – GIVE IT UP!!

This is not to say that I have something against receiving cool, or even just necessary, stuff at Christmas – I’m as materialistic as the next North American – if not more so, being a firm believer in the “He who dies with the most toys” mentality. But aesthetically speaking, I can only take so much of that music a year – and then only in certain settings. Don’t need to be hearing that when I’m picking up my junk on the way to work.

Thank you for your consideration.

[GRUMBLE] Damned sadists. [/GRUMBLE]

"TAGGING"

What the FUCK are you thinking?

You dipshits who go around leaving your mark on mail boxes, lamp posts, or anything else – did your Mommies not give you enough attention as a child? Do you need everyone else to see that you’ve done something, however pointless?

Here’s my fantasy punishment for you: First, we carve your tag into your forehead with a dull, rusty, dirty knife. Then, we cover every other normally visible inch of skin with tattoos of your tag – in a nice, bright green. Then, we paint it on your clothes. Whee!

How cool would you be then?

Assembly-line music & movies

If ever there was a perfect example of garbage, this would be it.

I am ever so thankful that all those boy-bands seem to have faded into the background. I really don’t need to hear about O-Town, 98 Degrees (almost forgot about the Backstreet Boys – DAMN! There are times when I wish my memory weren’t so bloody clear) etc. every time I watch Entertainment Tonight. And how many Britney Spears types do we need? One is plenty (well, she certainly is VERY easy on the eyes). Who, aside from record company execs, thinks it’s a good idea to saturate the already weak music market with no-talent, pre-assembled, over-hyped “artists”(Hah!)? I don’t consider them artists if they have their material written for them. Performers – maybe.

And how many movie trends do we need? None, dammit. I know it’s a business, but GIVE IT UP!! Didn’t releasing Wyatt Earp in the same year as Tombstone teach you anything? Some of us DON’T have “SUCKER” written all over us.

I love my Classic Rock!